'Indian Matching' - have you seen it?
It’s a Netflix documentary focusing on that old chestnut of finding a mate. Not just for one or a few dates though, it’s how you go about finding a mate for life, from the start! Great Expectations then, but on both sides.
Like recipes, some people are a lot more traditional than others who are definitely more of a fusion (as am I) of the culture they were born into and the culture they grew up in or now find themselves in. Are you in this position?
But in this show theyโve all still opted for trying this traditional technique to find everlasting love, well, everlasting commitment at least.
The Matchmaker
โMarriages are like biscuitsโ says Sima, as in theyโre so delicate these days they break very easily, just like biscuits!
Sima Taparia is the Matchmaker or the Nimmit she calls herself, of the show. Thatโs a Hindi word that means Cause or Reason. Sheโs the reason people get married and she gets genuine satisfaction from her occupation. She seems to have great experience and a vast data base of boys and girls across continents.
I liked her. She kept things simple; donโt dig into someoneโs past partners, be a bit more flexible with your views and remember generally the woman has to compromise a bit more than the man for a happy married life.. spot on in my experience.ย
Interestingly, sheโs skipped the UK and jumped across the pond straight to the States from India but she doesnโt go as far as matching up people who are happy to travel between continents, yet.
Sheโs in her 50s, well-groomed with sleek,ย straight, low-lighted hair. Wearing smartly cut Indo Western type outfits that flatter her shape and of course are practical when crossing continents and cultures.ย
The Characters in Indian Matchmaking
The characters, I think, are mainly Hindu by faith, although one girl is a Sikh – pronounced Sick by some Americans.
The character that generated the most discussion in our house was a girl called Aparna, based in Houston, a lawyer, aged 34.ย She now has an instagram following of over 37, 000 people with a bio that reads Took a Chance on Love with Indian Matchmaking on Netflix, so something about her clicked. I think she looks a little like veteran Bollywood actress Hema Malini, anyone agree?
Equally Pradhuman, a very rich boy from Mumbai who wasnโt sure where he would be able to accommodate his wifeโs clothes in his huge walk in wardrobe generated much discussion. The name Pradhuman means a seeker of wisdom and knowledge.
Iโm not sure what Sima, the matchmakersโs fees are, but there was also a candidate from a more humble background, Vyasaar who lived in a very large joint family. ย He had a single mum as a parent from when he was little and he worked in the State (Public) school sector for a living.
And Sima was always honest, albeit a bit brutal with her assessment of what their chances of finding a partner via her would be.. but like the BBC article below said, thatโs reality, unless of course luck plays a part?
So the very pretty, but divorced Sikh lady with a young daughter would be a hard person for Sima to match. ย But we have a cousin who found love the second time round, quite late in life on a site called Second Shaadi (marriage).com!
Girls who are pretty, educated, not too old, single and from professional, happy families oh and tall but not too tall, seem to be the easiest candidates to find matches for.
But we know in reality thatโs not the case, is it.
“Meeting people, even just to widen a circle of friends is difficult for young people these days, more so when you factor in working and studying from home for months on end”
Being introduced to someone by a friend is often ideal and provides that important filter; you trust your friends, they know you, so their choice should at least be a “safe” person to meet.ย So the wider the circle, the wider the pool of potential soulmates.
The Dubai Connection with Indian Matchmaking
We are of course all ears for any Dubai connections and we hear that Aparna actually went to primary school at our own DESS in Dubai! We learn this from a picture on her motherโs Happiness Blanket.
But that was a long time ago. And Simaโs own daughter married a boy who was settled in Dubai too and I guess followed him out there? Oh and Aparna tells a would be suitor that Dubai is fine to visit, but only if you like places like Disneyland!
Suitable Boys and a Suitable Girl
So back to the Nimitt or Sima in this case. Youโd think sheโd find it easy finding a good match for her own daughter right? Wrong.
Before Indian Matchmaker aired, another show called A Suitable Girlย – 2017ย (not Suitable Boy currently on BBC, but Girl) came out and featured 3 girls from India, all trying to find suitable matches.
One girl was none other than Simaโs own daughter, a well-educated young girl working in a blue chip consultancy firm in Mumbai, but resigned to not ever meeting her Mr Right.. even with mumโs help, especially with her mumโs help.
One dinner time scene had Sima crying into her thali and her daughter giving her the stubborn silent treatment, (weโve all had that) when all mum was trying hard to do was to make sure her daughter ends up with a happy life via a suitable boy.
But what I found fascinating was that her daughter didnโt go to work in a chauffeur (read driver) driven car of any kind, let alone high end car, neither did she take a taxi for any part of what seemed like a fairly long journey. She took a very crowded Mumbai commuter train then took an Auto Rikshaw (read Tuk Tuk) to get to work.
Moreover Sima certainly didnโt have sleek, low lighted hair or wear much make-up or dress as she does now.
So the Indian matchmakerโs fortunes have grown along with her clientโs. ย Good for her! Sheโs teamed up with a Life Coach who help clients get over some of their โstumbling blocksโ in life and sheโs got a couple of trusted astrologers who talk to her about the correct alignment of planets and compatibility, so the team is flourishing!
Life Coaching and Matchmaking.. seems like the Sky really is the Nimmit!ย
What did you think of the show and if you had to describe your marriage as a biscuit, what kind of biscuit would it be?
Links to the above mentioned shows and related articles.ย
Where are they now?
Apparently none of the matches worked out, even Akshayย with an ultra traditional mum didn’t follow through with an engagement to Radhika after the initial Roka ceremony. Indian Matchmaking the sequel coming soon on Netflix?ย
And in the end they lived....happily ever after?!
If you'd like to know how you're reporter met her husband, leave me a comment about anything to do with this article and I'll reply!ย
Thanks so much for your kind words Robbin. Best, Monica.
Very glad to read this post. You look amazing Monica. Thankyou for sharing!
Very interesting and helpful article. Keep it up.
Thank you Charu! Well that was 26 years ago this July! We met, matched and married in Marylebone! Watch the gram another post on this coming soon!
Warmest regards
Monica.
Hey monica you look lovely on your wedding day. Couldnโt recognise you. Had to look very close. Would love to know how our reporter met her match ?